| TAOISM - Shit happens. |
| CONFUCIANISM - Confucius say: "Shit happens". |
| CALVINISM - Shit happens because you don't work hard enough. |
| BUDDHISM - If shit happens, it really isn't shit. |
| SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST - No shit on Saturdays. |
| ZEN - What is the sound of shit happening? |
| HEDONISM - There's nothing like a good shit happening. |
| HINDUISM - This shit happened before. |
| MORMON - This shit is going to happen again. |
| ISLAM - If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. |
| MOONIES - Only happy shit happens. |
| STOICSM - This shit is good for me. |
| PROTESTANTISM - Let the shit happen to someone else. |
| CATHOLICISM - Shit happens because you are bad. |
| HARE KRISHNA - Shit happens rama rama. |
| JUDAISM - Why does this shit happen to us? |
| ZOROASTRIANISM - Shit happens half the time. |
| CHRISTIAN SCIENCE - Shit is in your mind. |
| ATHEISM - Don't believe in shit. |
| EXISTENTIALISM - What is shit anyway? |
| RASTAFARIANISM - Let's smoke this shit! |
